I have my next check up with my surgeon on Saturday, (he keeps insane hours) and I  am nervous. I have lost 146 pounds since surgery I think that I am doing really good. But I'm afraid that he is going to get upset with me. I don't know why but I'm worried about it.

My mom and sister are getting worse when it comes to eating and food. I can eat more things with out getting sick and they are on my back all the time about eating almost ANYTHING and I want to kill them. I don't get upset with them when I sit and watch them pig out on things that are slowly killing them. But we are talking about a women (my mom) that weighs 180 pounds and thinks that she is fatter than I was when I had surgery. I think that she is insane and my sister is heavy set but she mantain her weight very well.

So I am having crazy dreams about having surgery  because I've stretched my stomach but when Belnap gets in there, there isn't a dang thing wrong with me. Like I said crazy dreams!